All Kids Should Have Consequences

Last week, I reflected on the messiness of school life, the daily call to live in community. Community is not merely a concept we teach; it is a reality that our students must experience firsthand. And when we truly live in community, it can be messy. Yet it is precisely in this work that God calls us to grow.

For children, school is meant to be messy, and that messiness matters. As adults, we often try to shield kids from struggle, hoping to make their lives easier. But in doing so, we often make life harder. When we protect children from challenges, mistakes, and even failure, we deprive them of the very opportunities that foster growth. It is in mistakes that students learn to problem-solve, navigate conflict, and build resilience.

Consequences, whether a missed activity, a yellow or red card, or even a detention, are not punishments to be avoided; they are opportunities for learning. Too often, these moments are dismissed as something reserved for “those kids.” In truth, all children need to experience consequences. Without them, they miss essential lessons in accountability, decision-making, and reconciliation. To be clear, this is not about serious infractions or harmful behavior, but the everyday choices that carry natural weight. The ability to make, and overcome small mistakes, normalizes the process and decreases overall anxiety in students.

If a student were to leave St. Martin without ever encountering meaningful challenges or consequences, we would risk sending them into the future unprepared for the demands of high school and beyond.

In my own teaching career, I have seen both extremes. I once worked at a school that relied almost exclusively on punitive measures, where students entered an unending cycle of discipline that never led to growth. I also taught in a school focused solely on restorative practices, where students never learned accountability. At St. Martin, we strive for balance, holding students accountable while also equipping them with the skills to respond to conflict respectfully and to “do better” moving forward.

Maya Angelou expressed this beautifully: “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” I believe that children always do the best they can. No child begins the day intending to fail, make mistakes, or hurt someone else. In the Gospels, when Jesus tells the woman caught in sin, “Go, and sin no more,” He offers the same invitation: to learn, to grow, and to do better once we know better.

As a Catholic school, we carry a unique responsibility: not only to teach about God’s forgiveness but also to form students in the practice of forgiveness, how to ask for it, how to receive it, and how to extend it to others. These lessons take root most deeply when children face the natural consequences of living in community.

At St. Martin, “getting into trouble” is never about punishment. It is about reflection. It is about helping students recognize how their choices affect others, guiding them toward accountability, and showing them the path to forgiveness and reconciliation. These instances often present wonderful opportunities for our students to live our mission of advocating for themselves and for other others, as we encourage students to fully understand the reason behind consequences and discipline.These are not just lessons for school; they are lessons for life. And they will continue to shape our students long after they leave our halls. As the end goal of any discipline is self discipline.

Thank you for all of your support and partnership.

Best,

Mr. Cortese